By Ashley Vernola
Sometimes I wake up and wonder, “Maybe I need more snapbacks in my life”, so I did some soul searchin’ and here’s what I came up with.
Do you ever feel like Red from That 70’s Show, and just really wanna stick your foot up someone’s ass? Well, the North Carolina Tar Heels are for you, and here’s the perfect to match. The baby blue color will bring you enough attention to distract the person whose ass you wanna stick your foot up, and there’s your chance. It’s a decoy and a fashionable hat: two birds, one stone.
Man, don’t you just wonder what the most obnoxious shade of yellow is? The Oregon Ducks have it for you with this snapback. Be the life of the party and turn up by blinding your fellow party goers with this hat. If you ever fear that you’re going to get hit crossing the street at night, never fear anymore as this hat makes you visible from a whole 40 FEET AWAY. That’s incredible, and for only $30.00, I think it’s worth it.
This hat is by a company called YUMS, and it is indeed yummy. Did you think that girls couldn’t do snapbacks? Man, are you wrong. The pink and purple trim just screams feminine, and that winky face emblem screams, “I’m available, fuckboys.” The camo also gives it a sense of earthiness, because any girl who wears this is just not like those other girls and needs the world to know, and I support them.
Ah yes, for the rare snapback wearing Star Wars fan. I forgot these existed. When you thought your excitement for the new movie as well as the old movies wasn’t quite satisfied by your Star Wars™ t-shirts, sweatpants, socks, cape, Darth Vader mask, endless amount of Pop! Figures, and any collectable figurine you can find, this snapback is on the verge of edgy, cool, and nerdy. It’s totally in right now.
This reminds me of the people I knew in Northern NJ who tried to drag race in their shitty beat up Chevy’s. They would drag race on the one stretch of straight road we had and skid out at the end. They most likely wore this hat, and thought they were whoever this Gordon person was in the process. So if this fits you, this hat is yours.
Remember those scene girls in middle school that would change the shoelaces of their beat up Converse or Vans in order to make them fluorescent colors and show off just how scene they were? This snapback allows for an even better opportunity for shoelace creative expression. It’s a hat with shoelaces. Show off your love for [insert sport team here] and try not to block out your mom’s voice in your head reminding you to “tie your laces, Jimmy”. Don’t fall short in getting some show stopping attention.
This one is probably my favorite. When I thought these snapbacks couldn’t get any better, this one is plaid. Hipsters, get ready, you can wear this to alternate with your daily flannel. “I just can never have enough flannel in my life, and on the days where my flannel is in the dirty laundry pile in the corner of my room after being worn for 5 days in a row, I now have another option,” says a satisfied customer.