Local Student Praised On Presentation, Classmates Definitely Not Bitter

By Jordan Hopkins

An excerpt from The Fake News Issue!

Early this morning, sophomore rhetoric student, Stewart Peters, turned heads as he debuted his newest work, an excellent PowerPoint on the importance of interpersonal communication. Peters stole the show by including Word Art, seamless effects, and a “really cool” slide transition, according to sources. Reports are still coming in, but we are hearing that his first slide contained a sampling of “High School Never Ends” by critically acclaimed band Bowling For Soup, as well as several gifs of excited animals, and even a few anime characters dancing suggestively. Sources inside Room 301 of the school of communications are confirming that Peters received a grade of 98, and that his fellow classmates are “not bitter”.

“No, I think Stewart did great,” fellow classmate Amy Adams intimated to Nonsense Humor. “Really fantastic. I mean, I’m the one who showed him how to use Prezi in the first place, so I would appreciate a little credit, but it’s fine I guess. I’m happy for him, really.”

One of Peters’ groupmates, Max Peterson of Wantagh, echoed similar sentiments.

“I just wish he had given us a little more credit, but it’s cool or whatever. I mean, we all got the same grade, so I guess it’s cool. Whatever, I mean.”

This isn’t the first time Peters has turned heads with his presentations; in freshman year, he debuted a fifteen-slide PowerPoint presentation on metamorphic rocks.

“I mean, I’m just happy to be out there providing important information to the people,” Peters said. “Does it really matter who gets the credit? The important thing is that the rest of the class learns something new. I just hope Professor Simmons liked it.”

Erika Simmons could not be reached for comment.