Issues

On this page you’ll find some of the absolute shit we’ve produced over the years. (You’ll have to disable your ad blocker to see them)


The Fake News Issue — Issue 166 — March 2017

Fake News is a thing everyone started talking about in late 2016/early 2017, and, honestly, Nonsense has always been Fake News in the truest sense, so we decided to do an issue devoted to it. We’re also big fans of school newspaper The Hofstra Chronicle, so what better way to show that than to print an issue that closely matches their design!

Website excerpts:
Alleged HvZ Hazing Involved Induced Gameplay, A Cage, And Anti-Nonsense Imagery
Party Blackout Allegedly Involved Alcohol-Induced Vomiting, Sbarro’s, And The Commuter Lounge Bathroom


Nonsense’s Guide To the Supernatural — Winter 2017 Zine

Website excerpts:
6 Spots In My House Where My Daughter’s Ghost Can’t Find Me
So You’ve Acquired An Alien Child…
The 12 Supernatural Creatures You’ll Date (Before One Kills You)


Nonsense’s Guide To Travel — Winter 2017 Zine

Website excerpts:
Horoscopes by Anthony Bourdain
The 7 Best Places To Fuck On Campus


Nonsense Goes To Space — Issue 165 — 2016

Let’s get the fuck out of here!

Website excerpts from this issue:
How Star Trek Saved My Sex Life
Six Things They Don’t Have In Space
Follow These 5 Easy Steps to Lasso the Moon for Your Lover
A Day in the Life of Elon Musk
An Open Letter to the 10 Exceptional Asteroids that I Once Loved
ISS/ISIS Paradigm Shift
The Footrace in Space
Choose Your Own Fucking Adventure: Space Edition


What To Expect When You’re Electing — Issue 164 B — 2016

A double issue featuring our projections for the 2016 election! Side B features what we figure Clinton’s America would look like. Check out Side A for Trump’s America!

Website excerpts from this issue:
I Am Your Friend
Horoscopes By Hillary
Flip Flopper Alert: The Article Hillary Clinton Doesn’t Want You To See!


What To Expect When You’re Electing — Issue 164 A — 2016

A double issue featuring our projections for the 2016 election! Side A features what we figure Trump’s America would look like. Check out Side B for Clinton’s America!

Website excerpts from this issue:
I’m The Big Guy
Make America Vape Again
Trump.exe


Nonsense’s Guide To Welcome Week — Issue 163.5 — 2016

Photographer: Zack Lane, Hofstra University Photographer

An exclusively all-website issue aimed at guiding Hofstra’s incoming class of 2016 freshmen through the tumult and eventual acceptance that they did not get into NYU.

Articles in this issue:
FAQs
Hofstra Community Standards And Guidelines
A Welcome Message From Public Safety
Guide To A Stress-Free Perfect Move-In Day!
Meet Your Welcome Week Coordinators
Explore Next Door Trips
Welcome Week Schedule Of Events


The “PC” Issue – Issue 163 – 2016

Our headwriter, Matt, came to us with this idea and we initially were very hesitant. But as he developed the idea–and as our staff began to brainstorm articles–we started to see it more clearly. The result is a very strong issue, coming off the back of a very successful school year for Nonsense. (Right before releasing this we won “Best Media Organization of the Year”)

Website excerpts from this issue:
Editorial: The “PC” Issue
7 Sexist Things That Need To Stop
We Gender Swapped These 6 Disney Characters And Wow!
Progress! Hofstra Announces Bathrooms Formerly Open To Anyone Now “Gender Inclusive”
An Open Letter To The People Of London


Nonsense 4 Kidz – Issue 162 – 2016

Something for all the kids out there! (Okay actually if you’re a kid, please don’t read this and also why are you on our website?!)

Website excerpt articles from this issue:
Editorial: Nonsense 4 Kidz
A Poem About A Clown
Choose Your Own Freaking Adventure: Just 4 Kidz Edition!
10 Steps To Get Your Elementary School Teacher Fired


The Renonaissance — Issue 161 — 2016

The Renonaissance is nigh.

Website excerpt articles from this issue:
Editorial: The Renonaissance
Top 5 Butts of Renaissance Sculptures
Choose Your Own Fucking Adventure: Renonaissance RPG Edition


The Hofstra Issue — Issue 160 — 2015

Nonsense’s first print issue since 2012, The Hofstra Issue was born out of a general discontent and a desire to paint Hofstra as we perceive it: an insane place that seldom feels real. The printing of the issue created a few roadblocks for Nonsense, and faced criticism and attempted censorship by the administration. Nonetheless, the issue was seemingly well received by the student body, but it’s not like we’d actually tell you if it were poorly received, so who are you to take our word for it? Read this piece of shit yourself!

Website excerpt articles from this issue:
Editorial: The Hofstra Issue
Hofstra Pride’s First and Final Game
Point-Counterpoint: The Hofstra Hoverboards
The Gentrification of Estabrook
Hofstra Versus Zombies: Gun Control
Arm Public Safety: An Editorial
The Hofstra Mini-Mall
Hofstra’s 5 Hottest Cults


The Green Issue — Issue 159 — 2015

Originally intended for publication in March 2015, the Green Issue sat dormant until September, and includes all the original content, plus some new contributions (including the layout by Nonsense all-star Gillian Pitzer) as well as an Editorial farewell by former Editor-in-Chief and superhero Ana Davis, who really put so much time and care into this club.

Website excerpt articles from this issue:
Editorial: The Green Issue


Fall Sampler — Issue 158.5 — 2015

A short and sweet pamphlet containing some things we never quite got around to putting out, including the cover which originated as a club joke in 2013. It’s all pretty good actually, you should give it a spin. Local Bar Alone is an opus, the likes of which we may never see again.

Website excerpt articles from this issue:
My Spring Awakening
Local Bar Alone


The Fall Issue — Issue 158 — 2014


The “D” Issue — Issue 157 — 2014


The SGA Issue — Issue 156 — 2014

Basically, we lost our fucking office and the whole process was a shit show. It really was miserable and it felt like we were totally doomed, so we decided to do what we do best and totally roast the shit out of those fuckers. This issue is firmly responsible for resurrecting this club, but is also one of the most bitter pieces of writing you will ever read. In a twist of poetic irony, losing our office helped us to find our work ethic and our passion.


Is Nonsense Dead? — Issue 155 — 2012


Still For Dummies — Issue 154 — 2012


The Worst Of — Issue 153 — 2011


The Other Shit We Made — Issues 1-152 — 1983-2011

All the other stuff that we did is not yet digital, but we’re working on getting some of it up. Additionally, you should know, that the rest of the content that this shitrag of a magazine has put out borders on totally insensitive and offensive, with a larger increase the farther back you go. But, hey, maybe one day we’ll put it up.

If we do, you’ll be able to find that here.